Went dinner in Parade, there was a magic festival or something going on. So it was kinda crowded than usual. Ate in Esquire Kitchen, the food was delicious indeed. Was playing with cousin at the back seat while po po looked at us, laughing at us actually. When my cousin beat me I wanted to bite her finger then she complains to po po, don’t bite people, like a tiger only that’s what she says. Me and cousin was laughing like mad. Our grandma is a very funny person sometimes.
Read story book and watched One Tree Hill at night, was thinking about stuff, again as me being myself. Thinking about…… Studies, my future plans, what I’m going to do when I done badly for SPM, etc. Really don’t know what’s up with me now this, I guess too many time for myself is not a good thing.
Just like a person got lost in a maze, without guidance, without a map, all alone. Holding on what she thought is right all the time, kept on searching for a way out. The skies is blue, the clouds is white. Is a very nice day, everything seems fine but not inside her heart. There’s a scar that reminds her of that day. She had given up on that friendship for 3 years, no longer hoping for it to return, even know it hurts to see her don’t mind when she’s not around, not around even know when she needed her. The way she looked at her tells her that there’s no more hope. In that instant it kills everything, her world, her thought, her life. It got her to learn new things, but she misses the old time still. Maybe if not cause of her, she would never learn. Whatever she had to pay for the lessons is too much, it causes her more than her soul. It made her thinking of leaving, leaving to start anew. Maybe is a good thing, for her, for everyone around her. Even if she gets her back, she cannot guarantee this thing won’t happen again, why she always never learn??! She wants to scream out loud, till her throat can't take it, till her lungs out of air, till the rain fall, wash away everything. If only it was that easy… Nobody seems to understand her, she wonder is she the one who make everything hard for others???